To begin with, I must commend our vibrant, selfless, ever vigilant, strategic and exemplary Leaders for taking a good step in curbing the insecurity in Nigeria by approving One billion Naira for the purchase of Lie Detector Scanner and night vision glasses for the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA). It is a good decision, a perfect way to eradicate insecurity amidst citizens getting frustrated and students being deprived of education.
Yes, Federal Government (FG) haven’t met the demands of the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU), no cause to worry, they always prioritize Students’ and citizens’ interests (which has been reflected in the availability of jobs and a robust economy). It’s the Academic Staff Union of Universities that are confused.
On the 14th of February 2022, ASUU embarked on another strike demanding revitalisation of public universities, earned academic allowances, University Transparency Accountability Solution and promotion arrears, renegotiation of the 2009 FGN-ASUU agreement and the inconsistencies in the Integrated Personnel and Payroll Information System (IPPIS).
This development can only make one cherish the President. He doesn’t have to meet the demands of the Union. The students need rest and allowing them to sit at home is the best at this point. ASUU does not merit their demands, after all, they are well remunerated like those in the Senate house who are never owed.
Why would one even compare these lecturers who always go on strike with our amiable senators? Our senators are facing many challenges that ASUU should even donate to help their cause. They receive meagre salaries and forego their allowances despite spending many hours daily deliberating on matters important to the development of the country.
Truth be told, Our senators are the ones that need funding. While the Children of ASUU members are enjoying a stable education system abroad, our Senators’ children are at home(nigeria) because of the strike. These ASUU people are confused.
Mr President, I have a very good idea, blacklist the members of ASUU, then hire robots to teach the students and also engage in online classes. Medical and Science students can do their practicals online, and there won’t be a need for equipping laboratories. This will help us to raise competent medical professionals that our leaders can trust with their health instead of flying out for medical check-ups.
Moreover, our youths have also been told to harness this ‘FG knows when to end’ strike by learning some skills. So any defaulter caught in an unlawful act would be prosecuted accordingly, and no one would request a huge amount to grant their bail.
Yes! We live in a corrupt-free country, Leaders are selfless and very protective of their citizens, they always cater for and meet the demands of the populace. All these have been reflected in the prices of commodities, availability of fuel and job opportunities, just to mention a few.
Indeed, I can stand at the borderline, fly to the sky, go to other planets to pounce my chest like a gorilla and scream ‘Nigeria is not only the Giant of Africa but also the Giant of the Universe’.
I will conclude this with an allegory of our great father, Late Chief Obafemi Awolowo, “when you pour beans in a bowl of water, some would sink directly, some would float and sink after some seconds, while some would remain at the surface there”. My fellow students/youths, we have seen many contestants with their manifestos, their capabilities could be judged by their achievements/works. Once bitten, twice shy!
Note: This write up is a Satire.
Omosebi Oluranti Stephen is a student and campus reporter at Obafemi Awolowo University. He can be reached at olurantiomosco@gmail.com.