For Ayomide Tugbobo, a Part 4 Chemistry student, femininity is rooted in ‘how I handle things as a woman.’ To her, women possess ‘a touch—soft and calm—that most men don’t have.’ She observed that women often have a natural tendency to organise things. However, she does not believe femininity should be mistaken for weakness.
‘Femininity should be a combination of softness and firmness,’ she said. ‘For example, when a woman is in a leadership position, there’s the stereotype that she will either be too softhearted or take hardness to the extreme.’ Ayomide argued that understanding people’s backgrounds, personalities, and orientations can help women become better leaders.
Similarly, Amarachi Ugwulonu, a Part 1 Medical Rehabilitation student, views femininity as ‘strength, independence, softness, growth and being chosen for more than my body.’
According to Amarachi, femininity includes knowing when to be soft and when to stand firm. She also reflected on how the Great Ife community has shaped her confidence. She stated, ‘The campus community has challenged me to stand up for myself even in male-dominated positions,’ she said. ‘I can be soft and still be firm.’
While societal expectations often pressure women to be endlessly accommodating, Amarachi maintained that femininity should also involve boundaries. ‘Being feminine does not mean accepting everything anyone brings,’ she added.
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Opeyemi Ishola, a Biochemistry student, also challenged narrow definitions of femininity. ‘Femininity, to me, is about authenticity,’ she said. ‘It is not tied to how I dress or how soft I speak, but how I choose to show up in the world—with empathy, strength and confidence. It’s both gentle and fierce, depending on what the moment calls for.’
How OAU Shapes Femininity
Although some students see femininity as personal and independent of environment, others say their experiences at OAU have reshaped how they understand it.
Ayomide believes the university environment has had little influence on her understanding of femininity. ‘Honestly, I do not think OAU has anything to do with the way I understand or express femininity,’ she said. ‘For me, it’s not based on your location or something, it’s just based on your personal values and personality.’
For Amarachi, however, campus life has challenged her to stand up for herself even in male-dominated positions.
Opeyemi also credited OAU for shaping her perspective on femininity. ‘Being in OAU has taught me that femininity isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s fluid and personal,’ she said. ‘I have learnt to balance tradition with what I believe is right, when to speak, when to listen and when to be assertive.’
Abiola Oladipupo, a Part 3 Arts and Social Sciences Education student, who described femininity as the ‘traits and attributes associated with women’, believes the OAU community has had a strong impact on her understanding of womanhood.
‘OAU, as a university, is rooted in equity and self-awareness,’ she said. ‘That has reshaped my mindset to believe that being female is the best thing in the world.’ She shared that meeting women who ‘know their worth and flourish in their femininity’ deepened her self-awareness and confidence.
Femininity and Society’s Expectations
These ladies pointed to stereotypes women face, particularly around leadership, emotions and assertiveness.
Ayomide pointed out that women in leadership are often unfairly judged. ‘There is the stereotype that a woman leader will either be too softhearted or too hard,’ she said.
Opeyemi similarly criticised societal expectations that women should not be ‘too loud’ or ‘bossy’.‘I stay true to my values, set boundaries and remind myself that I do not owe anyone a performance,’ she said.
Abiola believes misconceptions about women often portray them as emotionally weak. ‘Women are seen as too emotional or weak, especially in romantic relationships,’ she said. ‘I think that is a misconception because not all women are weak and emotional.’
To navigate societal expectations, she explained that she focuses on ‘finding my fire’ while supporting women interested in leadership positions.
Male Perspectives on Femininity
While these ladies largely described femininity through personal values, confidence and self-expression, male undergraduates approached it from observation and social expectations.
Samuel Gideon, a Part 3 Medicine and Surgery student, described femininity as ‘the expressions, behaviours, roles or energy associated with women both historically and socially.’ However, he argued that femininity is not exclusive to women. ‘A male who displays female characteristics is sometimes labelled feminine,’ he explained.
According to him, femininity is often judged through dressing, speech, emotional openness and ‘grace and softness,’ though he stressed that softness should not be mistaken for weakness. ‘Some people also judge femininity based on body structure,’ he explained. ‘When a woman is not seen as feminine enough, she may be labelled tomboyish.’
Similarly, Jedidiah Azubuike, a third-year Civil Engineering student, associates femininity with ‘kindness, a certain charm and gentleness.’ ‘Some females express femininity through their gestures, communication and dressing,’ he said, while emphasising that charm should not be confused with flirtation.
Ultimately, while beliefs on femininity differed, many undergraduates agreed on one thing: femininity is less about stereotypes and more about authenticity.